I am certain that the future of higher education, both public and private, lies in community engagement between the local college/university and its host city / town / community. For too long, we have measured our success and importance by what we have said about each other on a regional and/or national scale, what our "customers" have said about us, and what external ranking systems have said about us. For the vast majority of institutions, I believe that our survival will depend on a total reengagement with our host communities and our ability to allow our local communities to feel our presence. Local communities provide deep and rich living and learning laboratories in governance, social sciences, hard sciences, education, and a host of other applications. True outside-of-the-classroom learning. And from a market perspective, we must press our local communities into answering the question: "Without the influx of students, expertise, resources, service, and engagement, how can survive without this college..."
And not the other way around.
Dizz
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Great Article by Robin Wilson
I am reprinting this article without permission. Watch what happens when a leader steps off the beaten path to reshape an institution. Every institution of higher education should be looking for ways to engage with local communities, a diversity of students, and looking for ways to engage the future. Kudos, Syracuse!
- Dizz
Syracuse's Slide
As Chancellor Focuses on the 'Public Good,' Syracuse's Reputation Slides
Nathaniel Brooks for The Chronicle
Nancy Cantor, chancellor of Syracuse U., visits an old furniture warehouse that has been renovated by the university for academic programs.
Enlarge ImageBy Robin Wilson
Syracuse, N.Y.
Nancy Cantor is the chancellor of Syracuse University, but if you didn't know better you might think she was the mayor of this town.
Since she took over at the university seven years ago, the institution has spent tens of millions of dollars—and attracted much more—to revitalize this sagging Rust Belt city. It has helped refurbish parks, taken over an abandoned building where drug dealers once grew marijuana, and turned an old furniture warehouse into a new home for academic programs in art, drama, and fashion design. The university is encouraging professors to focus their research on the city, while giving free tuition to local high-school graduates.
Ms. Cantor talks about the institution as a "public good," not an ivory tower. But some professors here say she has spent too little time and money on what goes on inside the university's classrooms, laboratories, and libraries where traditional education and scholarship take place. Before she came, they say, Syracuse was on the way to becoming a more selective university that competed with some of the nation's best private urban institutions. Now, the chancellor seems most intent on providing opportunities—both for this struggling city and for disadvantaged students. As a result, Syracuse is fading on the national stage, falling in the U.S. News & World Report rankings of national universities and dropping out—before it could be forced out—of the prestigious Association of American Universities, whose members are considered the nation's top research institutions.
Robert Van Gulick, a philosophy professor who sits on the University Senate and serves on its budget committee, says that the community efforts led by Ms. Cantor are valuable, but that the university has a relatively small endowment and limited resources. "The administration will give you a list of things we've done to improve research and teaching, but what is the top priority?" he asks. "Some people feel that off-campus things that have practical applications in the city and the world get most support. That's good for the city, but is it good for the university?"
High Energy
Ms. Cantor, who will be 60 next year, is a five-foot-tall dynamo with short brown hair and an outsized growl of a laugh. She starts most mornings before dawn on a treadmill at home, then grabs a tall Starbucks latte before heading to her office. The search committee that chose her in 2004 liked her high-energy style, and believed her interest in social justice fit with the city's historical ties to the abolitionist movement and to women's rights.
Before she got to Syracuse, Ms. Cantor had already led institutions at the top of the higher-ed food chain—first as provost of the University of Michigan, then as chancellor of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. In both places, Ms. Cantor vigorously pursued racial justice and diversity, something that made her tenure at times tumultuous. At Michigan she was partly successful in her fight to uphold affirmative action in admissions, a dispute that went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. But at Illinois her quest to ban what she believed was its racist mascot, Chief Illiniwek, soured Ms. Cantor's chancellorship in 2004 when the board refused to back her (the mascot was retired three years later).
At Syracuse, Ms. Cantor has continued her interest in opening up higher education to students from a wide variety of backgrounds. This year the American Council on Education gave her its diversity-leadership award.
She often quotes the hockey great Wayne Gretzky, who said he followed his father's advice to "skate to where the puck's going, not where it's been." For Syracuse, says Ms. Cantor, that means no longer enrolling primarily well-off white students from the Northeast—its historic sweet spot—when a growing proportion of the college-going population is lower-income, minority, and from the South and West. "If you were a strategic business you would be optimizing on what the world is going to look like," she says. "You wouldn't be holding on for dear life to your brand."
Richard L. Thompson, who chairs Syracuse's Board of Trustees, says Ms. Cantor's focus makes good economic sense. "This is not 1950s America," says Mr. Thompson, a lawyer in Washington. "We will be left behind as an institution if we don't adjust to new populations. Nancy has grabbed the university by the shoulders and pulled it into the 21st century." The board, says Mr. Thompson, fully supports Ms. Cantor, whose contract it has extended through 2014. In its latest report, Moody's Investors Services said Syracuse's outlook remains stable, and lauded its "large and diverse student enrollment with improved geographic and demographic diversity."
Indeed, Ms. Cantor has changed the face of the undergraduate population since she arrived seven years ago. First, she nearly doubled the applicant pool and increased undergraduate enrollment by about 20 percent to 13,878 students this fall. The proportion of American minority students in the incoming class has climbed from 18.5 percent when she started to nearly 32 percent this fall. That's higher than the national average at four-year colleges, which stood at about 27 percent of freshmen in the fall of 2010.
Syracuse has also increased the number of low-income students who enroll. The proportion of students at the university who qualify for Pell Grants has jumped from 20 percent the year before Ms. Cantor came to about 28 percent this year. And Syracuse has nearly tripled the amount of its own money that it spends on need-based aid, to $131-million this year. Almost half of its students receive institutional need-based aid, compared with about 32 percent of students at all private four-year institutions in the country, according to FinAid, a nonprofit group that analyzes such information. At the same time, Syracuse has scaled back the number of students who receive merit scholarships, decreasing its spending on merit aid over the last couple of years by about 15 percent. (The discount rate on Syracuse's $37,667 in tuition and fees, which is the proportion of its tuition that it discounts for the average student, has climbed from 31 percent when Ms. Cantor began, to about 38 percent this year—still less than the national average.)
A Question of Reputation
One of the most-contested parts of Ms. Cantor's plan to remake the student population has been the acceptance rate. The rate, which stood in the mid-50-percent range after she arrived, spiked up to around 60 percent in each of the last two academic years. That sent up warning signs to both professors and students, who worried that Syracuse was becoming less selective. "Ivy Leagues pride themselves on minuscule acceptance rates of less than 10 percent," said an editorial last winter in The Daily Orange, the student newspaper. "The shift in recruitment strategy and subsequent rise in the acceptance rate could devalue the SU diploma, cause larger freshman classes, and affect the quality of an SU education."
Some professors agree, although they have been reluctant to speak out because questions about the university's admissions policies have touched off charges of racism here. "My fear is that the university is moving away from selective to inclusive," says David H. Bennett, a professor of history. He says that Syracuse already had a diverse student population before Ms. Cantor arrived, but that the chancellor has taken it to a level unmatched by other selective universities. "If you look at the universities with the top 50 endowments and the percent of their students who receive Pell Grants, none of them were anywhere near even what we were before Nancy Cantor came," he says. "This may be an admirable goal, but it is going to have an impact on our reputation. It's a road to nowhere for a place like Syracuse, which is asking parents to pay a lot because they think they're going to increase their kids' life chances."
Syracuse's leaders say the university isn't compromising on quality, and they note that this fall the university's acceptance rate is back down to around 50 percent. The grade-point averages and SAT scores of incoming students have remained about the same since Ms. Cantor arrived. "We would never sacrifice academic qualifications," she says.
But Syracuse is slipping relative to its peers, at least according to the rankings by U.S. News & World Report. Syracuse fell from a high of 40th among national universities in the late 1990s to No. 62 this fall, and earned a place on the magazine's list of "A-plus options for B students." The average SAT scores of Syracuse's students are lower than those at the public flagship universities in the state, including the State University of New York campuses at Binghamton and Stony Brook—both of which admit a smaller proportion of applicants than Syracuse does, yet cost less than half the price for out-of-state students. Syracuse's incoming freshmen also have lower SAT scores than do students at private urban institutions like Boston University, the University of Pittsburgh, and George Washington University.
Part of the problem, professors here say, is that while Syracuse has added 20 percent more undergraduates, it hasn't directed proportionally more tuition money toward academics. According to an analysis by Jeffrey M. Stonecash, a professor of political science here, the amount of tuition dollars spent on the classroom is up slightly, by about 3 percent between the 2007-8 and 2010-11 academic years. Meanwhile, tuition dollars directed at helping cover the university's administrative costs have increased by about 28 percent over the same time period. Put another way, the amount of money from tuition receipts that goes toward administrative expenditures increased by $22.3-million—to around $100-million—over the last four years, while the amount of money from tuition receipts that goes toward academics increased by just $5.7-million, to $190-million, over the same time period, according to Mr. Stonecash's analysis.
"The overall result is a larger student body, more money for administration, and less attention to academics," says Mr. Stonecash. His analysis has been disputed by administrators, who say academics at Syracuse are supported by a variety of sources beyond the tuition dollars he analyzed. But professors point to another indicator: While the student population has grown by about 20 percent since Ms. Cantor arrived in 2004, the number of full-time professors has risen by only about 13 percent.
Money and Mission
Like some other professors here, Mr. Stonecash wonders whether tuition money is being used to foot the bill for the university's expanding ventures with the city. Although no one here believes the university can thrive in the midst of a dying city, some professors believe Ms. Cantor's off-campus work has gone too far.
"To divert resources coming to the university, from moms and dads working hard to try to get their kids a good education, is that both morally right and financially sound?" asks Robert D. McClure, who has been at Syracuse since 1969 as a professor of political science and public affairs. "Our primary mission is not managing cities."
Ms. Cantor says the university can't isolate itself up on the hill, disengaged from the city, as it has so often in the past. (This fall the university has helped rip up a one-way street toward the university and made it two-way, as a symbol of connection between the campus and the town.) She also points out that almost everything the university has done in the city has an academic component. Syracuse University, she says, "should have an impact on our democracy and do work that addresses pressing issues in the world." She adds: "It's not that you stop caring about the fundamentals or quality, you redefine what constitutes quality and exciting scholarly work."
That's exactly what Ms. Cantor has done through a campaign she calls Scholarship in Action. It involves moving students, professors, and research off the campus and into the community to work with local officials, nonprofit organizations, and businesses on projects designed to give students hands-on experience and help solve the problems of the city and its people.
As part of Scholarship in Action, the university lured Cliff I. Davidson to Syracuse after a more than three-decade-long career at Carnegie Mellon University. He was attracted by the possibility of working with the city of Syracuse to use "green" roofs to manage storm water. "I tried to do this work in Pittsburgh, and because our university did not have the same kind of outlook to teaming with the community, it was difficult," says Mr. Davidson, a professor of engineering and computer science who, with graduate students, has installed research equipment on top of the Syracuse convention center's 1.5-acre green roof.
The effort also led the university to establish the Connective Corridor, which links the campus with the downtown area through buses that bring students and others to theaters, museums, and buildings Syracuse has purchased to house some of its academic programs. In the last year, approximately 17,000 riders a month used the buses, compared with 250 a month when the service began in 2006, according to the university.
Some higher-education experts applaud Syracuse's outward focus. "Hopefully in the years ahead, more universities will focus on what they think is important and worry less about maximizing prestige," says Ronald H. Ehrenberg, director of Cornell University's Higher Education Research Institute. "We cannot all be top 50 or 60 research universities."
But many professors here resent that push. "My discipline is not the town of Syracuse," says one biology professor who asked to remain anonymous. "I'm an intellectual, and I have a community of scholarship all over the world."
Some professors here say Syracuse University has paid too high a price to fulfill Ms. Cantor's off-campus mission. This year, after 45 years of membership in the prestigious Association of American Universities, the university dropped out when it looked like it would be forced to leave. Saying the association had narrowed its membership criteria to focus primarily on the amount of federal research money in medicine and the sciences that a university attracts, Ms. Cantor pointed out that Syracuse is engaged in projects that receive money from a wide variety of sources that the AAU does not consider as important.
But Barry Toiv, a spokesman for the association, said its membership criteria have remained the same since 1999. The only change the association made, said Mr. Toiv, was to compare member universities with nonmembers, based on those criteria. The amount of money Syracuse brings in for federal science and engineering research each year has remained virtually unchanged since Ms. Cantor became chancellor in 2004. That has happened at a time when many AAU members and other institutions have seen their amounts rise.
Professors here say that represents a lack of commitment to significant scholarly work, and some of them predict the university will have a harder time attracting, and holding onto, top-notch professors. "Recruiting a bright aspiring assistant professor with excellent Ph.D. and postdoctoral credentials from Princeton and MIT will be very challenging, since other institutions, AAU institutions, would be recruiting the same person," says John E. Baldwin, an emeritus professor of chemistry at Syracuse.
Sitting at an outdoor table, eating a salad one afternoon surrounded by the city she has helped remake, Ms. Cantor doesn't seem too worried. "Syracuse has never been stronger," she says. "We have no trouble hiring great faculty or recruiting great students. We are being seen as a leader in diversity and really making a difference in the world. Whether you're a public or private institution, you need to care about that."
Plan B and Teaching Professors
Two good articles from this morning:
I.
I love how bizarre it is to recommend employment outside of the academy as failure. Thank God for commons sense.
http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2011/10/03/leaders_of_history_association_call_for_new_view_of_the_job_market
II.
Rehashing a discussion long since past...but it is presented in an engaging way. Why there continues to be a dearth of pedagogy course in and across all doctoral programs remains a mystery. And by mystery, I mean ridiculous.
http://chronicle.com/blognetwork/lesboprof/2011/10/02/assessment-in-higher-education-on-the-train-or-under-it/
I.
I love how bizarre it is to recommend employment outside of the academy as failure. Thank God for commons sense.
http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2011/10/03/leaders_of_history_association_call_for_new_view_of_the_job_market
II.
Rehashing a discussion long since past...but it is presented in an engaging way. Why there continues to be a dearth of pedagogy course in and across all doctoral programs remains a mystery. And by mystery, I mean ridiculous.
http://chronicle.com/blognetwork/lesboprof/2011/10/02/assessment-in-higher-education-on-the-train-or-under-it/
50% Friendships
Over the past year I have developed a love for heading to the movie theatre after the house heads to sleep. I have a toddler in the house who goes to bed early and I either have to spend the last few hours of each day tip-toeing around the house or I can go watch the latest round of new films. I end up with a few hours less sleep every morning, but it has generally been worth it. Except for the time a professor friend of mine suggested we all go see Transformers. It is the stupidest movie of all time. Ever. I jabbed my straw in my eye a few times to try and make it stop. It was like paying $9 to go watch someone else play a video game. Awful.
Last night my son went to spend some a few nights with his grandma and my wife and I decided to forgo a night of grading papers to head to theatre on an impromptu date. We saw 50/50, a brilliant buddy comedy about two best friends dealing with an incredibly difficult situation. Think Good Will Hunting meets Terms of Endearment meets Pineapple Express. Like I said, brilliant.
Medium Spoiler Alert
One of my favorite scenes of the film is when the main character heads to the bathroom of his pot smoking, excessive-swearing best friend, the night before the climactic live-or-die surgery. While there, he notices a copy of Getting Through Cancer Together (or some similarly titled book) sitting by the toilet. I don’t know about your house, but in mine, only truly important literature makes the toilet side reading list. A friendship that knows no bounds.
I recently had a good friend melt down to the tune of tossing away his marriage, family, job, etc. Made some pretty horrific decisions that hurt a number of people. Not skin hurt but bone and muscle hurt. Deep stuff. As we sat in some dive diner picking through the dressings of the still bleeding/oozing wounds, he said that one of the worst parts of the ordeal was that he had found the outer edges of every relationship in his life. It was a stark loneliness – a vast empty parking lot of loneliness – where you find that those people who are supposed to stand by you forever have cashed in and disappeared. Family. Your best friends. Church.
Gone.
Or not really gone, but somehow ascended above you, dropping leaflets of hallmark sayings, obscure bible verses, and judgment on you. Those leaflets feel like cinderblocks coming down.
Gone.
Or not really gone, but somehow ascended above you, dropping leaflets of hallmark sayings, obscure bible verses, and judgment on you. Those leaflets feel like cinderblocks coming down.
I hope that I never forget sitting in that diner and listening to him try to articulate the pain of loneliness. And more importantly, the pain of loneliness that he was imposing on those he truly cared about. At the same time the bricks were falling, he recognized he was throwing his own rocks on those he loved and cared about. And his rocks were heavier...by a long shot.
This guy’s former job was in a church. And when he left the church, the church returned the favor. And when he said dumb things the church responded with song lyrics. And when he needed a pillow to crash on, the church responded with “When you get your life back together…”
And I don’t think that is what relationships are for. I think there comes a time when you have to make a decision to simply be there. And when a person is making stupid decisions, they will know that you will continue to take their punches to the jaw because come what may, you will be right here.
You’re not moving.
And I know that there are times when those you love make dumb decisions and you literally have to distance yourself for your own sanity and safety – I get that. I’ve been there. But inside the bell curve, that is often like letting go of the rope of someone dangling over a cliff because your hands burn.
You’re not moving.
And I know that there are times when those you love make dumb decisions and you literally have to distance yourself for your own sanity and safety – I get that. I’ve been there. But inside the bell curve, that is often like letting go of the rope of someone dangling over a cliff because your hands burn.
And you don’t do that.
You don’t let go.
Your hands hurt so bad but you don’t let go.
You don’t lecture or make declarations to the person hanging on over the side of the cliff because often, the “me above you analogy” doesn’t play out and the person you are standing in judgment over is much more eye to eye than anyone feels comfortable with.
And friendships – the good, go-down-with-the-ship kinds of friendships, are not dog treats.
You don’t get to be my friend as long as you are doing the things that I like.
You are my friend always. And if you’re doing something stupid, you damn well better believe you’re going to hear about it. You will hear a starkness and honesty and candor from me that you will not hear from anyone else. Because I am your friend.
But I’ll still pick up the tab and you can crash at my house because that’s what friends do.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Core Values, community, and the launching pad.
"Our society is one of specialists and professionals. We have delegated to others what we used to do ourselves. MD's have replaced midwives. The professional army has replaced the draft. (my note: adjuncts have replaced the faculty). While these changes toward professionalism have brought technical improvements, they have done so at the cost to community, and in fact, may actually increase the longing for voluntary association...(H)elping the collection of faculty, staff, and students at your university become a community is a significant source of influence for a university president"
"The kind of academic success the ratchet promoted and the market rewarded was turning an institution's most highly regarded and marketable faculty into independent contractors who were coming to conceive of their institutions principally as platforms for personal achievement - good places to work and thrive, but ultimately, with the right opportunity, good places from which to move on"
Core Values
I recently attended an institutional planning retreat to discuss our institution's faith heritage, the history and future of our relationship with our heritage, and our understanding of who we are and where we are going from the perspective of the integration of our faith heritage and teaching/learning. The retreat was highly insightful and beneficial as an exercise. I don't know the full extent to which the information gleaned will be put to good use, but I will leave that in the hands of those tasked with synthesizing the information.
During the discussion, we were separated into small groups to discuss the Core Values of our institution. While other groups noted lofty statements (both central and peripheral) of something to do with radical hospitality, the university being Christ-centered, focus on teaching, etc., my group zeroed in on the fact that from a Core Values perspective, our university (and I suspect yours as well) have no Core Values. Let me explain...
Core Values should suggest immovable pillars of belief that support the entirety of a person or organization's operation. Core Values should never waver without deliberate and intentional thought and action. At our institution, the Core Values look something like an abacus, with the horizontal wires representing the role or stakeholder and the beads representing the importance of the stakeholder's responsibility. Depending on how important you are, your level of participation in the institution's core values will move and shift on a sliding scale. For instance:
-- Students are not required to believe anything. They simply agree to a set of prescribed behaviors. We will take anyone's money, given they agree to act a certain way.
-- Faculty are required to believe in the dominant faith heritage of the institution and all are required to attend worship services at the dominant faith's church.
-- Staff are required to have some sort of Jesus-y belief-ish understanding. They must be Christian-esque.
-- Adjuncts are governed by academic credentialing.
These are not Core Values. These are Relative or Situational Values.
I believe we are digging into the institutional values and what a set of uncompromising Core Values would look like but I believe that will be a wily cat to stuff back into the bag. And with no Core Values, faculty and staff are left to find their own degree of institutional buy in depending on the level of engagement and commitment they have to their field, their students, and the university. Thus, the creation of the Lone Ranger.
Dizz
Saturday, October 1, 2011
My Problem with the Middleman
Its as if all of our efforts to duplicate relationships, duplicate happiness, and project hopes, dreams, fears, sadness, and the entire realm of emotion is based on our inability to completely throw ourselves into the being of another –to fully be in relationship with the people or peoples we let into our worlds. As though we assume they will let us down. Deep down in our bones, we know they will let us down.
Take for instance the idea of marriage. Both anthropologically and rationally speaking, it is an insane idea. Not for the normal, Wedding Crashers-only-be-with-one-person-for-the-rest-of-our-life reasons but because this union can only end one way. Badly. Played out even to its most successful extremes, one of you will die before the other. Or you’ll both die simultaneously. Lots of hurt. For certain lot’s of good…but without fail, it will end badly. Or maybe not “badly” – but maybe “sadly.” We know that even successful constructs let us down. And the successful ones are few and far between. And when God lets us down, we assume that somehow it was our fault or it is for our own good.
What I am wrestling with is the idea that in our closest relationships, there is a constant barrier between the people we love – our spouses, our children, our closest friends, etc. – and that is this relationship with God and/or Jesus Christ that is supposed to supersede all other things. As close as we can get is when we join hands and try to connect to God - together – but that never fully allows us to connect with each other. And maybe were not able to connect in that way – to fully download another person – to fully mesh, combine, or become another person – and for some reason, the world is constantly telling us not to do that. To never do that.
§ People leave.
§ People die.
§ People betray.
§ They curse in anger, are mean, unreliable, destined to failure, etc.
In Christian pre-marital counseling, they use a triangle – with you and your prospective spouse on opposing corners and God at the top. And the analogistic exercise suggests that the closer each of you moves towards God, naturally you will grow closer towards each other. Interestingly, in the same counseling session that would teach you on the dangers of relational triangulation, they will draw a triangle and suggest that you both seek out another being outside and above yourselves in an effort to get closer together. I simply don’t believe that makes much sense.
Viewed through the other side of the flannel graph, God has let me down more times than anyone I know personally. Well, that’s probably not fair…but those who have claimed his name, his mission, his heart, had his name on his paycheck, or his promise have absolutely let me down more than any other person(s) ever has. Ever. So maybe its guilt by association. And maybe my problem is not with the actually deity at the top of the pyramid, but with those who represent him, but I'll continue...
But for the life of me, I can’t see how this burden to dig through the mounds and mounds of emotional, theological, and psychological excrement falls on me – so that I can uncover this deity who died to save me. Died to make me whole. Died to show me love. At times lays silent to show me his power. Knocks me down to show me how nice he is for picking me back up again. Knocks me down to show me how strong he is. Takes my loved ones for his purpose. Allows my loved ones to be hurt for his will. Predestines people to distort his name, image, purpose, will, and so forth. The truth is that I will be a stronger, more iron-forged individual for having tunneled my way out from the bottom of the pile. But to what end. In the best of scenarios, it still ends badly. Or sadly.
But for the life of me, I can’t see how this burden to dig through the mounds and mounds of emotional, theological, and psychological excrement falls on me – so that I can uncover this deity who died to save me. Died to make me whole. Died to show me love. At times lays silent to show me his power. Knocks me down to show me how nice he is for picking me back up again. Knocks me down to show me how strong he is. Takes my loved ones for his purpose. Allows my loved ones to be hurt for his will. Predestines people to distort his name, image, purpose, will, and so forth. The truth is that I will be a stronger, more iron-forged individual for having tunneled my way out from the bottom of the pile. But to what end. In the best of scenarios, it still ends badly. Or sadly.
But what If I poured myself into the ones I love. Those I can touch, breathe, and hold. If I had meaningful relationships. Lived not like I’m in a holding pattern of retiling my kitchen, watching sporting events, and looking for wrongs to right until I can finally push off the mortal coil into harp performances and fluttering around on puffy white water vapor, but instead lived like this is my only shot.
Like this is it.
Like the relationships that I make, hold, uplift, and pray on are my experiences. Are what I’m about. Nothing feels more full, more hopeful, more developed than pouring love into someone I can touch.
Hold hands with.
Wipe tears from.
Laugh until I throw up with.
Cry uncontrollably with.
The good stuff.
Dirt on my shoes.
Pain in my side.
Running until my knees won’t bend.
Wiping food up off the floor.
Good beer and mindless philosophy.
Sleeping too late.
The good stuff.
So my proclamation becomes not driving towards a deity in order to get closer to those I love. Instead, I cut out the middleman and I throw myself headlong into those I am in relationship with. I throw myself headlong in to my local communities and national conversations. Instead of praying for guidance on working with my students, I go seek those with actual answers – those who can give me direct insight. I go to a real person(s). I stop spending so much negative energy asking God why he won’t fix such and such issue…and I go be involved in the solution myself.
No more not being happy (and not happy in the narcissistic, positive psychology, over prescribed medicinal syrup happiness, but earthworms, dirt, moving bricks, good conversation, laughter + stomachache kinds of happiness). No more avoiding relationships. Missing the good stuff. Living a life so that when I’m gone people will say, “Man. We’re going to miss that guy. They only made one of that SOB.”
And then folks will tell jokes and stories and hold up handwritten letters and boxes of weird junk that I mailed them (another post for another time), and talk about the bad advice I sent, and my children will laugh, and laugh, and cry, and laugh. And my wife will cry, and cry, and laugh and cry. Not because I want it that way, but because that’s just the way it is.
And then everyone will sing “Piano Man” karaoke style. Together. And they can move on with their relationships together. New ones. And old ones. Forged in laughter, mud, blood, spit, curse words, medium-hate, whiskey, and more laughter. And food. SOB’s always like food.
It’s like I woke up today. Peeled it off. I’ll still work on this God thing – but I do feel more awake today. Its about the people. It’s about living a life of wonder, happiness, joy, silliness, and mystery. And great friends. Who love me as I love them. And who in the end will shake their heads, laugh, and say, “We’re going to miss that guy. They only made one of that SOB.”
For my parents sake, I hope they don’t say the word SOB at my departure. But knowing the people that I love, they will.
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